Tuesday, May 17, 2022

How To Ask For Money For Wedding Gift

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Wedding & Anniversary Gifts : How to Ask for Money as a Wedding Gift

Sometimes, what is blocking us from asking for what we want and need isn’t our family and friends it’s ourselves. It’s a long, ingrained societal habit to never talk about money. Never speak of money in polite company. Don’t even speak of money in unpolite company! And definitely, never, ever ask for money.

Friends, times change, and so should societal habits. This moratorium on money talk keeps us from getting paid what we’re worth, is the leading cause of break-ups and divorce, and offers a nice cog in the machine of patriarchal power. Let’s break free. Would you prefer money instead of the latest Keurig? Then ask for it.

Collect Money In Advance

It usually works better for the celebration itself rather than a gift use it for snacks, decorations, balloons, greeting cards, etc there are endless occasions to celebrate. Instead of collecting money for each celebrator separately, start the year by taking $20 from every team member, and build a list together outlining how the money will be spent.

If you have not spent the entire amount, you can save it for next year or surprise your team more often! Let the other teams jealous.


  • It is transparent and you gain insight into what types of celebrations your team is thinking about in advance.
  • Everybody is contributing and receiving the same amount, which helps create a good feeling within the team.
  • There will be no more money collecting issues every time there is a celebration .


  • Calculating the amount of money people need to chip-in in advance can be a bit tricky, and could be difficult if you under-budget and need to ask for more later.
  • There is no longer an element of surprise for anyone, as the employees know what type of things to expect.

How To Remain Tactful While Asking For Money As A Preferred Wedding Gift

Its weird how the same culture that came up with the money dance considers it a social faux pas to communicate to guests that you would prefer money if they wish to give a gift. While most people I talk to that are under 35 sort of get it when it comes to modern wedding gift giving, I think its fair to say the most popular belief or social norm out there is that asking directly for money from your guests is tacky.

So, like so many weird conventions these days, you need to be particularly tactful navigating this potential minefield. The last thing you want to do is offend your great aunt right? The strategy Ive seen used the most effectively is to shamelessly use your wedding party and maybe sympathetic immediate family to quietly disperse the information that youd really prefer cash to another set of towels.

Then you can use your official wedding invitation to say something along the lines of no gift needed your presence is your gift. Truthfully, because Im a super weird economics geek I dont mind people not giving me a gift one bit! After all, I invited you to my wedding as a guest, there should be absolutely zero expectation of a gift. However, if you are going to use your hard-earned money to give me a gift, I want it to generate the most amount of good possible!

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How Do I Ask For Money For A Wedding Gift Sample Wedding Gift Poems

Some couples like to use poems to take some of the sting out of asking for cash gifts. These don’t always strike the best note – they can come across as a bit forward or cheeky – but we found a few examples that we think work well. Or, you could get creative and write your own!

  • If a gift is on your mind,A contribution would kind.It will help us more than words can say,To celebrate our special day!
  • If a gift is your intention,We thought that we would mention,We’d love some pennies to rub together,To save for something we will treasure!
  • As weâve lived together for a year or two,We really donât need anything new.But if you were thinking of getting us a small wedding gift,Some money for our future wouldnât go amiss.
  • As weâre getting married, we thought it would be great,To move into a brand new home â we really cannot wait!As wedding gifts are bulky and weâre a little short on space,Some money would be the ideal gift to help us buy our place!

Photo by Primalux Photography via One Fab Day

Ask For Items And Gift Cards Too

Chalkboard Wedding Gift Wish Card

Chances are, some guests will want to give you an actual gift. Instead of waiting to see what they come up with, create a second registry with a few choice items youd love for your house. Who knows, maybe youll even get that fancy new blender youve been pining over. Some wedding gift registry retailers like Hudson’s Bay, Bed Bath & Beyond and Linen Chest allow you to add gift cards to your registry, which is a great way of indicating where your guests cash wedding gift will be spent.

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How To Ask For Money

However, with many couples already sharing a home together when they marry, theyre usually pretty set up on the domestic front.

And with the current economy being what it is, money is always welcome as a wedding present. Cash to go towards a mortgage, your honeymoon, your kids. Or money to just make your wedding more of the day you dream of it being.

If you were Italian it wouldnt be a problem. Italian brides traditionally carry a small satin bag into which guests place envelopes of banknotes. In Poland guests pin money to the brides wedding dress!

Do Use A Cash Registry Website

To ensure a safe and easy transaction of funds, it’s wise to use a cash registry website, Swann told Insider.

Popular cash wedding registry websites include Honeyfund, My Registry, and Our Wishing Well. These sites allow you to create a registry for just about anything, from your home renovations and your honeymoon to donations to your favorite charity.

On your wedding website, you can link to your cash registry site so guests can easily access it.

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What Should You Do If You Don’t Want To Give Money

There is absolutely no obligation to give cash if you don’t want to gifts should be given in the spirit of generosity and not as a duty. That said, there’s often a reason the couple have asked for money, so it does no harm in politely asking the couple why.

If you’re uneasy about giving money as a gift, communicate this with the couple and see if there’s an alternative way you can contribute to what they’re putting the money towards.

  • If they haven’t already explained it on their wedding website, it could be they’re saving up for a new addition to the family or for a new kitchen. Once you understand, you could offer to buy them gift vouchers for a large department store that will help their overall aim.
  • If it’s saving for a honeymoon, you could get them a prepaid travel money card or currency in notes for the country they’re going to.
  • If they want to build up a little pot to invest, you could offer to buy them a session with a financial advisor to make the most of their savings.

There are lots of alternatives to giving physical cash money and all of them will be greatly appreciated by the couple.

Let Your Bridal Party And Family Know

How to Ask for Cash as a Wedding Gift: Plan It For Me Episode 4

If guests dont know what to get you as a wedding present, they will ask you, your family, or a member of your bridal party for information, so having these people to advocate for your gift choices is a good step towards getting money as a wedding gift instead of a third toaster. Since youll also have your backup registry, these people have the ability to say, I think theyd prefer cash, since theyre saving up for a new house, but if youd rather get them a gift, I know they have a registry at __________.

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A Baby Shower Invitation

Asking for gifts on a baby shower invitation is acceptable. The main purpose of a baby shower is to gather family and friends together to receive gifts for both baby and mom-to-be.

Many couples start purchasing some of the bigger and more expensive items for their new baby early on in their pregnancy. But by the time the baby shower has been planned, organized and the invitations go out there are still many items that are needed before the little bundle of joy arrives.

So if the main purpose of having a baby shower is to receive gifts, then the question is, how to ask for gifts on a baby shower invitation for the items that you actually still need?

This can be done in three different ways, which are:

  • Setup a baby registry with only the gifts that you still need

Your invitation would be as follows:

Join us to celebrate our new little one


Diapers are all that they need

  • Asking for money or gift cards on your baby shower invitation

To ask for guests to give a gift card as a gift, write at the bottom the invitation that gift cards are welcome or will be preferred.

If you would prefer to receive money, you could set up a baby shower wishing well and on the invitation state something like,

Baby has all that he or she needs

If finding a gift is hard to do

Then we have a wishing well for you

Place a monetary gift in the well and make a wish

Why It’s Rude To Ask For Cash On Wedding Invitations

Wedding etiquette changes over the years, but even as things change, many stay the same. Things like birthday gifts and wedding gifts should not be expected, and the receiver should always be grateful even if the gift wasn’t exactly what was wanted. Asking for cash on your invitations looks tacky, and it makes guests feel like you’re only interested in their attendance if they’re bringing a gift.

Wedding guests want to feel like you appreciate their presence at your wedding first and their gifts second. In most cases, a gift is almost guaranteed from most of your guests anyway. You don’t have to ask for them directly. You can include a link to your wedding website on your invitations, which may have a link to your honeymoon fund or wedding registry just don’t ask for cash directly.

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Cant We Just Ask For Cash As Our Wedding Gift

Thinking about putting in invitations No gifts please. There will be a money tree for anyone wishing to contribute to the honeymoon. My girlfriend did this for her wedding and I thought it was a good idea. But is this rude??!!

Wedding Queen

Its never OK to ask for gifts of any type. Presents are a custom, not a requirement. It is impolite to assume that your guests would give you gifts so, to include no gifts please within your wedding invitation would not be proper. As we have responded many times before the best way to get the word out about your money tree is through friends and family, or a private wedding web site.

Regarding the money treein my opinion this is a bit tacky and could cause a guest to be embarassed if they hadnt heard about the tree, dont care to give money, or if they feel pressured to give more since other guests will see what they are adding to themoney tree. I would discard this idea and replace it with a gift registry and/or a honeymoon registry, passing the word about the registries through family and friends or if directly asked. The bridal shower invitation could include the gift registry since showers are considered a gift giving event.

Etiquette Now

The Guy Next Door

Can I Ask For Cash For A Wedding Gift

Wedding Poem Card Inserts Wedding Invitations Money Cash ...

If youd rather have a lump sum to put toward your first home, some furniture or something else entirely, asking for cash as a wedding gift has become more and more acceptable. Of course, be aware that some people still disagree that its okay to ask for cash for a wedding present, and may instead choose to buy you something.

Some couples choose to have a wishing well at their wedding, whereas others will provide a bank account or use a website like Joyable.

If youre having trouble deciding between all the different kinds of wedding gifts, or between different registries, you can certainly register at multiple registries? If you have a wedding website, its easy enough to list alternative wedding registries.

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Buy The Couple A Gift Card

The golden gift-giving rule for wedding guests is to use the couple’s registry for guidance. And, believe it or not, registering for gift cards is definitely a thing you can do. In fact, sending the to-be-weds a gift card is one of the most creative ways to give money as a wedding gift. While cash fund donations can be used for just about anything, gift cards are a thoughtful way to personalize your present. The Knot Registry Store has partnered with plenty of buzzy gift card retailers like Airbnb, Delta Airlines, HomeGoods and moreâso whether the couple always plans cross-country vacations or they love redecorating their home, you can help fund their favorite activities by buying them a gift card as a wedding present.

Include A Short But Tasteful Message

The traditional money poem has always been a polite and less direct way of asking for cash and we have a few ways that you can make this clear to your guests:

Your presence at our wedding is present enough but if we are honored with a gift from you, a monetary gift will be very much appreciated.

If you were thinking of giving us something sweet, a gift of cash towards our house would really make our day.

If you believe that a gift is worth giving, a small envelope for our future is a delightful blessing.

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Pay It Backwards And Forwards

Be the change you wish to see in the world. If you grumble at the fact that it’s still taboo to talk about money, then lead the new charge and talk about money whenever possible. This isn’t just for parties and celebrations of big life changeswe get paid more fairly, are able to negotiate better work environments, and dismantle power structures that do not work for us when we proudly proclaim to be paid. When you receive an invitation to a wedding, baby shower, housewarming, or other celebration, and there’s no gift registry listed, ask the honoree if they’d appreciate a donation. Or better yet, just give a donation anyway. This is a revolution, people.

No More Plastic Bags Pass An Envelope

Episode 83 How to Ask for Cash Gifts for Your Wedding

With the infinite number of internal communication apps, it becomes easier to reach as many people as we want. Spreading the word on our collection has never been this easy, but the problem with collecting the money still remains.

After you send out the message write the celebrators name on a big envelope, and pass it through the workplace. Dont forget to mention who youre celebrating and why.


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Reasons To Prefer Hard Cash

Why not just accept the physical gifts, the way it has always been?

Back in the day, couples looked forward to getting gifts like toasters, towels, or blankets because they were beginning a new life together.

In the modern day, most couples already live together for months or years by the time they have decided to wed.

This means that they are well covered in terms of home essentials and dont really have a need for more.

Besides, they may not have extra space to keep additional items.

Whether its due to an unpredictable economy or simply having the choice on what to spend the cash for themselves, having more money is always a welcome option for a married couple.

Cute ways to ask for money as a wedding gift should always include telling the guests how you plan to use the money.

Itll make the guest feel more connected and that theyre contributing to your dream life.

Whether you have a genuine reason for opting for cash or not, wording the request can be tricky. A cute story could be just the ticket.

Cute Ways To Ask For Money As A Wedding Gift

You should only use these eight suggestions only after youve implemented some of the ways listed in the How to Ask for Money for Wedding Gift Tactfully.

If you proceed with these cute ways of asking for money as a wedding gift methods without laying the groundwork, theyll most likely blow up in your face.

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Asking For Money Gifts Is Asking That Person To Put A Price Tag On Your Relationship

Another reason why asking for cash gifts is rather tricky is, it makes the cash giver put a monetary value to your relationship.

Whena co-worker sends you a wedding invitation with an accompanying note asking for cash presents, you would be hard-pressed to figure out how much to give. Is your friendship worth a $50 check? $100 or $200 even?

Theres simply no way of figuring out how much you should give. You can only rely on your current financial position as a wobbly compass. And if you do end up giving a cash gift, how will it affect the dynamics of your relationship? Will they think any lesser of you because you only wrote a $50 check?

These are the kind of questions that make it especially hard for guests at a wedding to give cash gifts. They are also the kind of questions that make it so hard for you to ask them for cash gifts since you innately know theyll be asking themselves these questions.

But asking for money instead of other gifts, especially for weddings, makes perfect sense even when you know its not the right etiquette. Perhaps youre not planning on upgrading your home, and the tiny space wont fit any new items. Or, you need money to fund a project you couldnt otherwise complete without extra funds. There are lots of reasons why couples would prefer cash over other gifts for their wedding.

But there are even less cute ways to ask for money as a wedding gift.

That said, here are a couple of examples of how not to ask for money as a gift for your wedding.

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